My understandings… my thoughts

Dearest Ms Juliet,

Romeo ( HR Executive ) 

A father asks peon: How are the studies in this college? Where do I see my son in future?
Peon: The future is bright; I had also completed my engineering from the same college! **

Vinod Das starts raising his bat on 32 runs.
Shakti Gauchan: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Vinod Das: Yes, but the TU students understand the importance of scoring 32

My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, "is this love?". GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".

To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Hurray……

Purai syllabus padhera sake…

books ra notes matra baaki rahyo!

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: "mere paas degree hai, knowledge hai, 4 logon mein baithne ki izzat hai. Tere paas kya hai?".
Sweeper: Mere paas naukri hai.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.

5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.

6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.

7. Users find 137 new bugs.

8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.

9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.

10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.

13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

And the cycle continues….

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

*********************

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That’s terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

*********************

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

*********************

Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited and talking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston.
After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?"
"Yes Sir! Class of ‘94!" they answered proudly.

The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of ‘58."

 Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications. He lands up in the enemy’s camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now? Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers. Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now? Boss: Wait for more. Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now? Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don’t worry about your family, we will look after. Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.

 Differences between Men and Women
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t Believe you.

Two most important things taken by vistors to US before 11th sept. -

1. Degrees and
2. certificates

After the 11th of sept. -
1. Antiboitic and
2. Life insureance

Here are important laws of software….

Law 1:
Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails
unless he is assigned work by manager.
Law 2:
The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and
takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.
Law3:
For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software
Implementation.
Law 4 :
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed
from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another.
The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant!

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!